Willow: Dead and Loving It
by Angelic Gemma
Summary: I’ve put this fic up before but now I’ve re-written bits of it and put it up again. Buffy was never brought back. When Willow gets turned into a vamp the scoobies have to stop her when she starts to have a little too much fun. PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ R+R!!!
1. One Dark Night

Title: Willow: Dead and Loving It 

Author: Angelic Gemma

Summary: Willow gets turned into a vamp and has a little too much fun. The Scooby Gang have to stop her, but can they do it?

Timeline: Set after The Gift. They never brought Buffy back so obviously this doesn't fit in with series 6.

Authors note: I've put this fic up before but now I've re-written it and put it up again.

Chapter 1

She sighed as she switched off the TV. Willow was bored, wide-awake, and there was nothing on TV, but then it _was_ 1.30am. 

She through her slipper at the clock as it turned from 1.30am to 1.31am. The slipper missed and bounced off the wall harmlessly onto the floor. The clock was going deliberately slow just to piss her off, she knew it. She sighed again as she retrieved the slipper and slipped it back onto her foot. Leaving the room she made her way to her bedroom. She had to face facts, she wasn't going to be able to get to sleep ever again. She hadn't had a proper nights sleep since Buffy's death. She changed from her teddy bear pyjamas into some clothes and grabbed a jacket.

As she was leaving the room she glanced in the mirror, her hair was a mess. She grabbed a comb and ran it through her red hair. She didn't know why. It wasn't as if she was going to bump it anyone she knew, but she just had a strange urge to make it look nice. Grabbing her keys and without giving it a second thought she left the house. 

Willow listened to the echoing of her footsteps along the deserted street. Well, it wasn't exactly _deserted._ There would probably be some demon or vampire lurking about somewhere. But then this was Sunnydale, there was always something hiding in the shadows. Which was why it wasn't safe to go wondering round on a night on your own. So why was she doing it? The simple answer was she didn't know. Willow carried on wondering aimlessly. She had started to do this often after Buffy's death. Tara hadn't liked it, said it was too dangerous, but Tara wasn't around now either. She should have known, everyone left her eventually, Oz, Buffy, Tara. After Buffy's death Willow had told her she needed space. Why did I say that?!

"Why?!" She screamed into the night. It felt good. Tara had then packed and gone over night. She hadn't seen her since. A tear ran down her cheek. She didn't even see as much of Xander anymore, not since he had got engaged to Anya and she had moved in with him. In the past when she had felt like this she would talk to Buffy, now she had no one. No one, the words rang round her head, mocking her. Another tear ran down her cheek. "Don't cry darlin. It can't be all that bad," Willow spun around and saw a young man stepping out of the shadows. "and how would you know?"  she replied, the anger in her voice obvious. 

The man just laughed and Willow stared into his baby blue eyes. They were extremely hypnotic, but they also revealed the mans true age. "Get away from me," she told him sternly. Producing the stake she always kept in her jacket. 

The vampire looked impressed. "Very good. Most people wouldn't have known."

"Yeah well, I've had a lot of experience with vampires," she told him, an undertone of sadness in her voice.

"I can tell." The vampire moved closer and Willow raised her stake. A look crossed her face which said,_ any closer and you get this._ He started to circle Willow.

"So much power for one still so young.  It radiates from you…" He thought for a moment then said, "I was planning on just getting someone to eat, but there's something about you… you have a choice. I can either drink from you and you die, or I can give you a new life."  

"What… do you mean?" Willow stammered.

"You already know."

She did know, and she didn't like it. Willow started to babble. "I hate blood, can't stand it. Really. I don't suppose there's some sort of secret option number 3, where I get to go home and you know, live?" She asked hopefully, suddenly thinking how stupid it was to go wondering round Sunnydale alone. Very stupid indeed.

The vampire laughed as Willow started to back off. Too quickly for Willow to see he had moved right next to her. When Willow realised what had happened she turned to him and tried to drive the stake into his heart. Unfortunately she missed and he grabbed it from her hand. He threw it into the middle of the road and pulled Willow into the shadows as his game face appeared. Willow could do nothing as the vampire sunk his fangs into her neck.

When the original pain of the fangs puncturing her skin subsided she felt no pain. Only a sense of calm. She didn't know how long he drank from her, but she could feel her heart beat getting slower. It didn't scare her. She could feel the blood leaving her body, her life force. Suddenly she felt the fangs withdraw. Her vision was blurry and she knew she was dying. She could make out the vampire. He was cutting his wrist with his nail, he offered it to her.

"It's your choice," he told her.

Willow was overcome with an  incredible urge to live, she didn't want to die, she was too young. Like Buffy had been. She was terrified. She finally grabbed the bloody wrist and started to drink.      

The vampire smiled to himself, he had a new companion. He was sure they were going to have a lot of fun.

"Wakey, wakey, Willow." said the male vampire.

Willow was lying in a large bed. The satin sheets made it very comfortable indeed. She stretched out and the satin felt great over her bear skin. Her change had been exhausting and she had fallen asleep straight after it. She hadn't woken up since, and now she was suddenly very hungry. She hadn't feed yet.  She stirred and then opened her eyes and sat up. She looked around. She was in a large room, which looked very old fashioned. Willow sat for a moment and just listened. It was incredible; she could hear every little sound. She finally noticed the other vampire sat by the window.

"I'm Edward, and welcome to my world." the vampire told her with a smile.

The young vampire in the bed was beautiful, but it wasn't just that. There was something special about her, it was why he had decided to turn her. Before she had begun to turn he had looked through her jacket and learned her name was Willow. It was a beautiful name, like her.

She walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek, and ran her fingers through his blonde hair. "I'm hungry." Willow pouted.    

Edward laughed. "I knew you would be. That's why I got you a present."

"A present. How will I ever re pay you, Sire?" Willow said seductively as she slipped her hand around his waist.

Edward laughed again and then kissed her passionately. He then left the room. He was soon back, carrying a young woman around Willow's age. The woman legs and hands were tied.

Willow examined the woman. She was very attractive and was a wonderful gift for her first meal. "She looks delicious," Willow told him.

"I hoped you'd like her."

Willow vamped out and the woman began to cry. She walked toward the woman like an animal stalking its pray.

"I can smell the fear," Willow said, to no one in particular. She rolled her head around. "I like it." Willow brushed the woman's jet-black hair to one side. She sank her fangs into the woman's neck and the woman cried out. Willow felt the blood being pumped round her body. She didn't want it to stop, and she didn't stop. Not until there wasn't a single drop of blood left in the young woman's body. Willow withdrew her fangs and changed back to her human face. She licked her lips and dropped the corpse.  The woman had tasted delicious. She wanted more.

"Now it's time for some real fun," she announced.  Then she looked at her clothes folded up by the side of the bed. "And for shopping," she added in disgust. 


	2. The Apartment

Chapter 2

The man had his hips round Willow's waist as the pair danced in the Bronze. Willow whispered in the man's ear and he grinned. The pair left unnoticed into the night.

"Now," said the man pulling Willow down an ally way. "lets have some real fun."

"I agree. Close your eyes and I'll give you a surprise." She told him as she ran her hands down him suggestively.

The man smiled as he closed his eyes.

"No peeking."

"No peeking." He agreed.

Willow let her game face appear, and sunk her fangs into his neck. The man let out a surprised cry and eventually slumped to the floor.

"You're a natural," came a voice from the shadows.

"I'm just getting started Edward," Willow replied without turning around.

Willow knocked on the door to Xander's apartment. It was time for the ultimate fun. She and Edward had been keeping themselves amused for the last few days in ways Angelus himself would have been proud of, but this idea was the best yet. Of course, naturally the idea had been hers. 

Willow and Edward had been watching the apartment for hours. They had arrived in the blacked out car during daylight but now it was dark.

Willow was about to give up and go when she finally saw Xander leave. Edward kissed her and then she went up to Xander and Anya's apartment and knocked on the door. After another knock the door was finally opened.

"Willow!" Said a surprised Anya.

Willow just smiled. 

"Where have you been? Xander was worried, well I was too. Well don't just stand there, come in." Anya said.

"I'd love to," Willow said, smiling to herself as the barrier disappeared. She walked in and closed the door, with out Anya noticing she locked it .

"Xander's not in. He shouldn't be too long," Anya explained. "So where have you been? You've been gone for a week! …And interesting choice of clothes," Anya said, as she looked at Willow's completely leather outfit.

"I fancied a change," said the vampire. "Well actually," she paused for a moment. "I've done a lot of changing." She shook her head and as her red hair fell back into place Anya could see her vampiric features. 

Anya screamed and Willow quickly grabbed her by the throat and covered her mouth.

"Now now, it doesn't hurt. I promise," she ran her fingers along the ex-demon's neck and Anya's scream had become a pitiful whimper. Willow removed her hand from her mouth.

"Willow, please don't! I don't want to die! Please don't hurt me!" Anya sobbed.

"But everyone dies Anya, I'm just helping you along," Willow told her. 

Anya suddenly made a dash for the door. Willow grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back so violently she could hear the bone brake. She then sank her fangs into Anya's throat and drank her warm blood. When she had finished she left Anya's body on the floor and left the apartment. She returned to Edward who was around the corner.

"Very good," Edward commended. "I was listening in. One of the good things about vampire hearing."

"You haven't seen the best bit yet,"  she told him slyly. 

The pair waited for Xander's return just out of sight from his apartment. They didn't have to wait long. As he entered his apartment the two crept up to the door and peered round it. Xander hadn't shut it fully.

He stood there for a moment, in shock. Staring at his dead fiancées body. It just didn't seem real, but then it hit him.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed. He ran over to Anya's body and cradled her. His scream turned to a whisper and he repeated it over and over again.  
  
"No, No, No, No,……."

He was sure he could hear laughing, he was sure he recognised the voice.  But he was too distraught to think straight. 

He wept and wept. He had no idea how long he sat there, just cradling her. Eventually he called the police.

"You were right," Edward told her with a smile. "That _was_ fun."

The pair carried on laughing as they left the building.


	3. Never Be The Same Again

Chapter 3

Edward was still laid in bed. He watched as Willow changed into some clothes she would only have worn as a mortal. It was part of her plan, the "Scooby Gang" as she called it, still didn't know she was a vampire, so she was going to play along. Explaining her recent absence hadn't been difficult. A family crisis, hadn't had the time to call and tell them she was leaving Sunnydale for a few days. Of course when she had called Xander to tell him he had told her the _tragic_ news about Anya. Willow had put on a shocked voice and played the friend.

Explain her absence was only part of the plan. The plan itself was simple - she was going to kill them all one by one, and they wouldn't even know it was her. Not until it was too late and she was drinking their blood. Edward had been impressed.

It was the day after she had killed the ex-demon Anyanka and Willow was planning on going to a meeting the "Scooby Gang" were having. Edward was proud of her. She had been a vampire for a week and already she was starting to gain herself a reputation as being one of the most evil and inventive vampires around. Willow and Edward were both surprised that Spike hadn't heard about her, but then he wasn't exactly a favourite in the vampire community anymore.

Getting to the magic shop in the daytime was the biggest problem she had faced. But luckily it had started raining so she could take an umbrella to cover her hands and face. It wasn't the safest option but it was the least suspicious and Willow was prepared to take a chance. When she had finished changing Willow planted a kiss on Edward's lip before picking up her umbrella and leaving. She moved quickly through the streets of Sunnydale towards the Magic Box. 

To keep himself occupied while Willow was away, Edward walked to where the teenage human man Willow had decided to keep as a "pet" was chained up. The man started to whimper as he saw someone approaching. Edward picked up the knife Willow kept nearby. 

The screams echoed throughout the house.

The remainder of the group - Xander, Giles and Willow sat in the magic shop. It was daytime so Spike was in his crypt. Willow had her arm around Xander's waist, comforting him. His neck was so close to her, she was very tempted just to drink his blood right there and then. He looked so tasty just sitting their, his neck exposed…

"I am truly sorry to hear about Anya," Giles told Xander sympathetically.

Xander just stared off into the distance and said nothing.

Willow had to suppress a laugh. Had she broken him? She hoped so. "I'm so sorry Xander," she told him.

"Why her?" He started to cry.

"Don't worry. We'll find the vampire that did this," she told him, doing her best not to smile. This was so much fun. She had caused all of his pain, she had killed his fiancée and he had no idea it was her. It made her feel extremely powerful and she liked it. She wanted more, she wanted power over everyone and everything. She wanted to rule the world.

As he realised something Xander stopped crying and looked at Willow. "I never told you it was a vampire," a horrible though crossed his mind and he remembered the familiar laugh he had heard. It couldn't have been. Could it? He felt physically sick, but he had to know. He grabbed the cross he kept in his jacket and held it towards his best friend, Willow.

She hissed and backed away, her "vamp" face appeared. She was pissed, this was _not_ part of the plan! Still, she'd just have to make the best of it…

Giles was too shocked to say anything. Willow was a vampire, correction, Willow was dead. This was just a demon using Willow's body. How could this of happened? The poor girl, she had been so young. Just like Buffy, and Anya had only just began her mortal life.

"Oh God," was all he could managed to say.

"Willow, please, not you too," Xander said in despair. The 3 women he loved most were dead. Buffy, Anya and now Willow. 

"Don't be upset Xander, it's great fun. I can do things I never dreamed of as a human, and you can too." She wanted Xander to join her. She, Edward and Xander. They would make a great team, she was sure of it. "The power we could have!" She moved as close as she could get to him with him still holding up the cross. "Taking revenge on everyone who _ever_ did us wrong. Imagine the thrill."

"Xander," Giles said warningly.

"I don't think so," Xander told her. No way would he ever agree to becoming a vampire.

"You can't imagine the power I possess. The power _you_ could have. Don't tell me you've never thought about it, I know you have."

"Not gonna happen," replied Xander.

"You don't want to play with me and Edward?" Willow pouted. But then she suddenly came up with a better idea for a playmate. "Fine, I'll find someone else, but I'll be back to kill you both later," and with that the vampire Willow grabbed her umbrella and left. Leaving 2 very stunned men in the shop.

"She killed Anya," Xander told Giles pitifully. Giles didn't know what to say, he had gone into morning after Buffy's death, now Anya and Willow had both paid the price for his incompetence. Looking at Xander he knew he would never be the same, neither of them would. Their world was falling apart, and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.


	4. Wanna Be Bad?

Chapter 4

Back at the house Willow was still extremely pissed. They knew she was a vampire. They had spoiled her plan. They would pay, but for now she had a new plan. Sunnydale was becoming dull, she wanted to get revenge then leave, but she wanted to take someone with her.

As soon as it became dark the vampire left the house once more.

Willow finally arrived at the crypt. She opened the door and walked straight in. Spike was still asleep. Willow slowly walked up to him and moved her hand to stroke his hair. Without opening his eyes he grabbed her wrist and pushed her away. Willow was taken by surprise and she fell backwards and banged her head on the wall. 

Spike had now opened his eyes. "Red! Sorry about that. What are you…" he paused for a moment and laughed. "Hey the chip! I hurt you and I feel fine. It's stopped working! YES!" Spike jumped up onto the top of his 'bed' and punched the air with his fists.

"Not quite," she replied, a smile starting to appear.

Spike jumped down and looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

Willow let her vamp face surface. "This."

"Bloody hell! You're a vampire!" Spike tried to straighten out his thoughts. Willow was a vampire? Shit. Who had done this to her? "Do the others know?" he asked calmly, even though his head was spinning.

"What _others_? There's only Giles and Xander left. Poor, poor Anya, you know she cried, begged me not to hurt her," Willow smiled at the memory. She loved being a vampire, she was just so god damn good at it.

_Anya's dead as well? Shit! She killed her? DOUBLE SHIT!_ Spike thought to himself.

"You know, me and my sire are leaving town. Why don't you come? What do you say?" Willow moved closer to Spike until she was only an inch in front of him. "Wanna be bad?"

Spike didn't answer, he just leaned in and started to kiss Willow passionately. She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through his hair. Spike moved his left hand round her waist and pulled her even closer. With his other hand he grabbed the heaviest thing he could get.

"There. She won't be getting out of that in a hurry." Xander replied stepping back to admire his handy work.

"So what are we going to do with her?" Asked Spike, staring at the unconscious Willow who was now securely tied to a chair. After knocking her out Spike had thrown the other vampire over his shoulder and brought her to the Magic Box.

"I say we stake her before she wakes up," replied Xander.

"And who is "we" exactly? Because I don't think any of us would be able to do it," said Spike.

Xander and Giles looked over at the vampire Willow. They both knew Spike was right. She had killed Anya, but even Xander knew he would not be able to stake the vampire while she looked like his Willow.

The three stared at each other for a moment. The silence was broken by Xander. "_Someone_ is going to have to do it. Why doesn't Spike? It's not as if he even has a soul!"

"Hey!"

"I'll do it. After all, it's not Willow. It's just the thing that killed her," Giles answered.

"Who are you trying to convince, us or you?" replied Spike.

"Well we need to do something!" said Giles angrily.

Spike suddenly had an idea. "Wait a minute! You gave Angel back his soul. Couldn't you do the same for Red?"

"Willow did the spell last time. I don't think any of us are powerful enough to be able to do it," replied Giles.

"But we know someone who could," said Xander.

Edward was getting worried, Willow still hadn't come back. What if something had happened to her? There was only one way of finding out. Where was it she had said she was going to find Spike? He suddenly remembered, a crypt in Sunnydale cemetery. He was going to find her and if anyone had hurt his Willow, they were going to pay. And it was going to be a _very_ high price.

He grabbed a knife and slipped it into a special pocket on the inside of his jacket, it was specially made to hold the knife. It was the weapon he always used, and it had never let him down. He then headed off to find his beloved Willow.

He quickly found the crypt. Willow had definitely been here, he could sense it. But the question was, where was she now? He soon came up with an idea. Edward was her Sire, he should easily be able to find her. He closed his eyes and let his senses guide him.  

A short time later he was stood out side the Magic Box. He peered in. There was the vampire Spike, a young man who was on the phone and an older man. As the younger one hung up the phone he moved and Edward could see his Willow. She was tied to a chair and doing her best to snap the ropes that held her in place.

Edward ran into the shop and pushed the two men out of the way. The vampire Spike, lunged at him. Edward quickly spun around and punched Spike hard enough for him to go flying across the shop. He took the knife from his jacket and cut the ropes that tied Willow while keeping the 2 men and vampire at bay. Once Willow was free she joined in the fight.

Willow was fighting Xander, while Edward fought Spike and Giles.

"What's the matter Xander? Getting tired?" Mocked Willow.

"You bitch! You killed Anya. I should have staked you while you were unconscious!" yelled Xander, his face full off rage and hatred.

"Now that wouldn't have been very nice would it?" replied Willow as she kicked him in the stomach. This was becoming old and extremely boring. She sighed, "Bored now."

Edward walked to Willows side and slipped his arm round her waist. "Then we shall go," the pair disappeared into the darkness outside, and no one was in a fit state to try and stop them.


	5. Pain

Chapter 5

"What if she can't do it?" Xander said, suddenly panicked.

"She will." Replied Giles, wishing he felt as confident as he sounded.

"You're avoiding the…"

Suddenly the bell above the door rang. "Hey guys," said the newcomer.

"Hey Tara!" said Xander.

Tara walked into the magic shop. She saw Xander, Giles and Spike but no Anya or Willow. Everyone looked extremely upset, never a good sign. Especially in Sunnydale. Xander had sounded upset when she had spoken to him on the phone the day before. She hoped everyone was ok. What if it was Willow? She wasn't there after all. Tara felt sick. They hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms but she still loved Willow.

"Tara, thanks for coming," said Giles.

"It's ok. Xander said it was really important that I come. So here I am, back in good old Sunnydale." She joked, secretly hoping that they would just tell her what the hell was going on.

"He didn't tell you why?" asked Giles surprised.

"Well I wasn't going to tell her over the phone was I," replied Xander, slightly angry. 

"I'm sorry Tara, there's no easy way to say this, but Willow's dead." Giles told the young witch.

Tara started to shake her head. "Not Willow, she can't be!"

"She got turned. She's a vampire," Spike told her.

A tear rolled down Tara's face. Xander walked up to her and hugged her. "It's going to be o.k. You're going to save her." 

"How?" Tara asked, still crying.

"Your going to give her a soul," replied Spike.

Giles produced the Orb of Thesulah. "With this."  

As the sun went down Willow kissed the sleeping Edward on his forehead before slipping out of bed. She put on her completely leather outfit before heading off to play with her pet. She loved playing with her pet, there were just so many games to play.

She swiftly made her way through the house until she approached the basement. She opened the door and started to walk down the steps.

"Isn't my pet pleased to see me?" She asked as her pet started to whimper as she approached. "Bad puppy, bad puppies must be punished." She produced a matchbox and took one out. With one strike it was lit, she threw it on her pet and watched as it burned. Her pet screamed. She jumped on top of him and ran her fingers over the scars she had created. Suddenly, she dug one of her nails into him. She watched as the blood started to seep out. She leaned over him and started to lick the cut. "Ummmmmm."

Willow suddenly felt a searing pain all the way through her body. She screamed and rolled off her pet. She lay on the floor and screamed as the pain continued. She tried to stand up put the pain was too much. She wasn't sure how long it went on for but as suddenly as it had started it stopped. Willow looked around. Where was she? The last thing she could remember was walking around Sunnydale. How had she gotten here? What the hell was…

_Oh god!_

The memories of everything she had done came flooding back all at once. The murder, the torture….  Willow began to rock slowly back and forth. The things she had done! The pain that she had caused! And she had enjoyed every second of it! Oh God! How was she ever going to live with herself? And….oh my god! She had killed Anya! How was she ever going to look Xander in the eye again? She wanted to die. The pain was just too much, she wanted someone to stake her right there and then. Anything to make the pain stop. To end it all.

Then she realized that the poor man she had been torturing was still locked up. She grabbed the key that was hung up just out of his reach and quickly freed him.

The man looked at her suspiciously. Was this some sort of new game she had come up with? Realizing he had nothing to lose he decided to go for it. With all the strength he could gather he ran out of the room and then out of the house.

Willow was left to rock slowly back and forth once more.   


	6. Goodbye

Chapter 6

"So did it work?" asked Giles. He was pacing up and down the Magic Box. 

"I'm not sure. And I don't think we can be until we see Willow," replied Tara. She hoped it had worked. Even if she were still a vampire at lease it would mean she had a soul. Unfortunately, like Angel she would lose it if she ever experienced a moment of perfect happiness. They didn't know how to give Willow back her soul without that claus. If they had tried to change the spell and get rid of the claus there was no telling what affect it would of had on Willow. 

As she finished her sentence the door to the magic shop swung open. Willow stood in the doorway, she was still dressed head to toe in leather and she was hugging herself. She looked at the group. She realized Tara was there.

"I'm sorry," Willow tried to say to the group. It came out as a pitiful whisper. She started to cry. "What have I done?!"

Giles was the first to move. He walked up to her and hugged her. "Welcome back." He sat her down in a chair. Tara came over and the pair hugged.

"Thank you," said Willow. She knew it had been Tara who had given her back her soul. She doubted any of the others would have been able to do the spell. Tara was a powerful witch, Willow was proud of her. She hugged Tara again and didn't want to let go. She felt safe in Tara's arms. Willow finally prized herself off Tara and sat back down. She looked over at Xander. He was staring at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with her. 

_Oh my god, he couldn't even look at me. I don't blame him. If he had done to Tara what I did to poor Anya… Oh my god, I can't believe what is happening!_

It hurt Willow so much that Xander couldn't even look at her. Xander was her closest friend, and he probably hated her. She didn't blame him, she hated herself. She moved her hand towards Xander but he backed off.

"You killed Anya, Willow. I don't think things can ever be the same between us again." 

For the first time Xander looked at her. Willow could see the pain in his eyes and she had to look away. She was never going to be able to look into those eyes again without thinking of the pain she had caused him. It was right then that she knew she couldn't stay in Sunnydale. She had to go, and as soon as possible.

"Xander I…" Willow couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't know what to say. What could she say? Sorry? After what she had done, it just wasn't enough and she knew it. Xander was right, nothing would ever be the same again. 

Willow ran out of the shop, she ran as fast as she could. And with her vampire speed, that was pretty fast. She carried on running, she didn't know where she was going. She just knew she needed to get away from the magic shop and everyone in it. She carried on running until she was exhausted. When she could run no more she finally stopped and she realized she was in the park. She sat down on one of the swings.

The pain was just too much, she should never of come back. She needed to talk to someone who knew what she was going through. She went home and packed some of her belongings.

"Bye Tara," The two witches hugged. Tara was crying. She had only just found Willow and now she was losing her again. She loved Willow more then life itself. The time she had spent without her had been unbearable, she didn't know how she was going to be able to do it again. Willow needs to do this, she reminded herself.

 Willow then moved onto to Giles. "Bye Giles,"

"You know you don't have to go Willow," he told her. He didn't want her to go. Sure she was a vampire, but a vampire with a soul, and she was still Willow. He was going to miss her deeply.

"Yes I do. I need to sort myself out, and I can't do that here," she replied.

"Will you come back?" Giles asked.

With a pained expression Willow answered, "I really don't know." She moved onto Spike. "Bye Spike, thank you for you did in the crypt."

"No problem Red," he answered. He looked at the pained vampire. It was such a shame, she wouldn't be able to grow old, have a normal life… Just like he hadn't. The thought saddened him. He had always though he would be able to watch the group grow old together. Now Buffy and Anya were dead, and Willow was stuck with eternal youth. Which from experience he knew was not as glamorous as it sounded.

Willow hugged him. "Look after these two for me."

"Only until you get back," he replied.

Willow smiled and then went to Xander. "I know what I did is unforgivable, but I am sorry."

"Bye Willow." Xander hadn't even looked up. It hurt her.

Xander couldn't look at her. The vampire who had murdered Anya. Even though she didn't have a soul at the time he couldn't bring himself to forgive her. One-day maybe, but not now.

Picking up her suitcase Willow took one last look at the group. "Bye guys. I'll miss you all." Then she walked out of the shop and didn't look back. Tears started to role down her cheek. 

"I have to go."

"But why?"

"Edward,….they gave me a soul"

Edward was so shocked for a moment he couldn't say anything. "When…"

"Last night. And soul equals big guilt trip, so I need to sort things out." She walked up to her Sire and kissed him on the cheek. "Goodbye Edward."

"Goodbye Willow," he knew it was pointless trying to stop her going. But he also knew that they would see each other again at some point. Eternity was a long time.

Willow picked up her suitcase and walked out of the house. Her pace soon quickened.

"Goodbye Sunnydale," she whispered.   


	7. Helping The Helpless

Chapter 7 

Willow approached Angel's hotel and paused. She realized she should have probably called in advance, but this wasn't exactly something she wanted to discuss on the phone.  

She waited outside the hotel until eventually she had enough courage to enter. Willow had almost laughed. After the things she had done without a soul and now she was having problems going into a hotel?! 

When she entered Angel looked up from the paper he was reading. None of the others were about.

"Willow!" he exclaimed. He hadn't seen her since she had come to tell him about Buffy. The day his world had fallen apart. Seeing Willow again brought back memories he had been trying to suppress. 

"Hey Angel, sorry about not phoning, but I need your help." Willow stood just inside the entrance. 

"Well that's what we do here, help the helpless. What's wrong?"

"Ermm. I don't think there's a way to say it that wouldn't end with you… killing me before I have a chance to explain." Willow had deliberately left out the word "staking". After all, it was a bit of a giveaway.

Angel looked at her a little puzzled. "O.K, well if I promise not to kill you will you tell me?" 

"Alright, but you'll want to call Giles afterwards. O.K, here goes, I got turned into a vampire by a vampire named Edward and did some really and I'm talking REALLY horrible things which include killing Xander's fiancée Anya but then Giles got my girlfriend Tara well sort of ex-girlfriend to do the soul spell thing so now I'm a vampire with a soul who feels really guilty so of course I though "Angel" and now here I am." Because being a vampire meant she didn't have to breath, Willow hadn't even needed to pause when she was talking.

Angel's head started spinning. Willow's a vampire? Wow. He remembered when he had met vampire Willow from another dimension. He was glad this time she had a soul, well he hoped she had a soul. For all he knew she might not have and might just be toying with him. He knew she was a vampire because no human could have spoken for that long without breathing. Except maybe Cordelia. "I think I'll just phone Giles," he said finally.

Willow smiled. "I told you you would."

Angel kept an eye on Willow as he spoke to Giles. She was pacing up and down the lobby.

"So she's _definitely _got a soul?"

"Yes, and as long as she doesn't experience a moment of true happiness she'll keep it," said Giles reassuringly. 

"Good."

When he had finished on the phone to Giles Willow had asked, "Could I have some blood? I got a few bags from Spike but I've already drunk them."

"Sure." He warmed up a mug of blood for her. Her face morphed as she started to drink. Angel was a little stunned. Even though he knew she was a vampire seeing her "vamp" face just made it seem more real. When Willow had finished drinking she spoke. "So the guilt thing, you've been doing it for what? A hundred years? Is it really going to take that long?"

"You know you can stay here as long as you need to, until you go back to Sunnydale," Angel told her.

"I'm not going back to Sunnydale, not after all the things I've done there," Willow replied. She shuddered at the memories.

"You'll need to do it some time. You have to go back and face the people you've hurt. It's part of the process."

"I'm not ready."

"You will be," Angel told her confidently. 

Willow smiled to herself. She knew the guilt would never go completely, but with Angel's help she would learn to deal with it. It would take a while but hey, she wasn't getting any older right? One day she might even be able to look Xander in the eyes again. Willow raised her mug of blood. "To my new life."

Angel knocked her mug with his. "To your new life."

The End

Authors note – Ok I have some serious writers block going on. If anyone can give me an idea for my next fic I would REALLY REALLY REALLY be greatful! Plz? E-mail any ideas to AngelicGemma@yahoo.com

thanks


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